I don’t like the fact that I’m not in control of my own dreams. Especially when they’re full of certain people and places which I’d rather not go back to. Once I’m in that half awake/half asleep phase, there should be a pop up menu in my head with options asking me what I’d like to dream of, the duration, and little customization options. But sadly, this is not the world we live in, not yet at least.
I don’t have summer vacations. I don’t even have weekends anymore. I can’t go back home, even though I miss my old friends & family. I can barely stay in a relationship long enough to even call it that. My capacity for interest in any one person is hemorrhaging. I spend my money on things I don’t use and people I don’t know well enough. My body aches every morning after work. I sleep an average of 4 hours a night just to try and have a life. I’m leaving the only place I’ve ever loved in one year, and I have no idea what I’m going to be doing in two years.
But right now, I am the happiest I have ever been in my life.