So there’s this girl in my building who I think is really cute. I’ve only seen fleeting glances of her whenever I’m leaving or coming home. I passed her today bringing my clothes to the laundry room. I didn’t even look at her. As I got to my room, gathering up the last bit of my clothes, I played a scenario out in my head where I asked her name, told her she was beautiful, and offered to take her out sometime.
(When I get bored I always think about things that could’ve happened)
Leaving my room with my last bit of laundry I saw her at the vending machine. I thought this would be the perfect time to ask her out. But, as I passed her, the only the I could muster was a weak smile at her. I kept walking, cursing myself out in my head, when I heard her ask me something. I turned around to hear her ask if I was doing anything tonight. I told her no, in reality I’m supposed to be going out of gate 2 street with some friends, she asked if I wanted to go to taco night at some place with her. I told her that I’m a vegetarian and she told me that there would be some kegs if anything.
I feel bad for those of you who keep getting such bad luck with the people you meet. I hope you don’t generalize all people of a certain group over your experiences with a small percentage of them. Don’t be so judgmental and you might actually find someone who changes your perception of things.
Today is the last day of the Okinawa International Film Festival and the weather is crappy. In contrast to the nice and sunny weekdays that just passed, today is a grey, windy, and rain-filled whirl of disappointment. I’ve been looking forward to this day all week. Me and my friends were going to go swim around Ikei Island until the afternoon and stop by the OIFF afterward. I can’t say I’m surprised though. This island seems to plan it’s rainy weather right around the days I want to have fun, or wash my car. Hopefully, the sky will clear up before the day is over.
This dream was pretty weird. I can’t remember anything before the following and I know there was a lot more before this.
I was sitting in my car on a strip of sand with the ocean on both sides of me. I was talking to my mother on the phone for the first time since I left the U.S. for Okinawa. The sky was completely clear, but it still started raining. The ocean started rising and waves were everywhere. My car started to get flooded with water, which I told my mother, then I told her I’d be ok because I refused to die. I rolled up my windows, put my car in reverse, and backed up through the curving narrow strip of land, all while the water was rising up to my neck. As the water rose above my mouth I found some steps and drove up them, temporarily escaping the engulfing sea. I opened the door and fell out, gasping for my breath. As the car began to drain of water it started to roll off of the bridge I was on into the mouth of the ocean to be swallowed whole. I was panicking and there were tons of people around me, but none of them acknowledged what had happened nor the fact that this sunny storm was pounding upon us. I ran into what looked like a train station looking for some help, and though there were people scattered every where, I only looked at this one person that I thought could help me. That person happened to be sitting on a bench 30 feet in the air watching a television set, so I had no way of reaching them. I just stood there for a moment trying to think when a couple that saw me looking at the person told me they were surprised I knew him. They said I could come with them and that they’d take care of me. I got to their house and they fixed dinner. Then, at the table there were suddenly about 8 or 9 more people. The only people I recognized at first were Jonah Hill, Ellen Page, and another actress who I can’t name right now but who I’m sure I’ve seen in a movie before. Ellen sees me, and asks why I came back. As she says this, I instantly remember being in a relationship with her and the other actress. As I looked around the table I realized that the remaining faces that I couldn’t recognize before were all some of the girls in real life I had either dated or hooked up with.They all looked so happy but they did not know that they all had had me in common. Jonah leaned over and whispered to me,”Dude you’re so fucked hahaha.” The other famous girl, who I can’t for the life of me remember right now, got up and told Ellen that we were into each other in a “freaky way.” I told Ellen that was a lie and that I cared about only her. She didn’t look sad or hurt, only surprised. She got up and walked away. Everyone disappeared and the table got smaller until it was just me Jonah and the couple. Apparently it was his birthday and they wanted him to go to a fancy place with them but he tricked them somehow and went out the back door and I met him in his car with some other dudes in the back. We drove to some one story mall and when we got out I was with people from back in New Jersey that I used to know. Not all friends, but definitely people that I used to know. A girl I used to be friends with named Gabrielle was there, along with this super smart fat Indian guy who went to my high school, and some other people. They ran inside and I lost them but I found them looking for something. I stood from afar and watched them having fun, throwing things around and trying things on. They didn’t find what they were looking for by the time I grew tired and left them. I got in the car and drove for a while before pulling into a parking lot to do a u-turn to try and go back to them. The parking lot happened to be under construction and as I tried to do my u-turn I made a mess of the work they had done. As I was just about to drive off someone hit on my trunk with their hand. When I turned around it turned out to be my supervisor. He reached in the trunk to grab this black package and thanked me for hurrying out there so soon. Apparently, I ended up right where I needed to be. It was some sort of charity event. I got out of my car and saw my friend from Hawaii that I met on this island and started telling him all about me drowning. The last thing I remember him saying is,”Dude, you’re still drowning.”
The dream goes on but I can’t remember anything after that. The me talking to my mom part was probably because I just wrote my family for the first time since I’ve been here. Jonah Hill was probably in it because I just finished watching the movie “I Heart Huckabee’s” which I thought was a great movie. Everything else is beyond me.
I'm Bored, You're Amorous - Dear And The Headlights
I’ve got this feeling in my blood that I want more, this ain’t enough. A girlfriend, a movie, a slow dance, and straight teeth Some candle-lit forced sentiment I’m bored to tears, you’re amorous. So please pass the regret; it tastes good on thick skin
I’m fast approaching death, you aren’t helping it Your smile’s been losing it’s charm, you still think you’ve got it Is this the best idea that you’ve ever had?
The living room, the furnace heat. You pull your hair, and gnash, and weep Confess how you’ve blessed me, while I’m blank Just blinking
No pressing lips just pleading speech that falls to the floor to rest on feet That float so light at first, but they’ve clotted up with concrete I’m fast approaching death, you aren’t helping it Your smile’s been losing it’s charm, you still think you’ve got it. Is this the best idea that you’ve ever had?
Fast approaching death, you aren’t helping it Your smile’s been losing it’s charm, you still think you’ve got it Is this the best idea that you’ve ever had?
This is how, this is how it starts And this is how, this is how it stops.
I’m still just blinking and you’re still talking There is no meaning, not now.
Fast approaching death you aren’t helping it, You’re a girlfriend, a movie, a slow dance, A thought that just passed It’s fast approaching death, we never noticed it It came on and came apart on us The best idea that we never had.