Oh yeah? Well I’m a Guy and I say I’m rubber & you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.
I think this whole sex thing is all in our head. Men are no better than women & Women are no better than men. It all depends on who YOU are. If you’re easily broken that’s just you, doesn’t matter who you are, you’re weak (emotionally at least). And if you’re strong, then that’s who you are. Doesn’t matter if you have a vag or not. (Though women might be a bit stronger seeing as how they bleed for weeks and don’t die, but thats witchcraft and I don’t have time to get into that right now)
And while you are on the subject of South by Southwest, you may mention that you saw this video of Murray tending bar at a random Austin establishment. Murray will at first enjoy talking about this — about how he went to see GZA perform and brought him and RZA to the bar, where the bartenders told Murray they’d make more tips if he helped them serve drinks. He’ll tell you that he forgot that, GZA, as a major stoner, has no tolerance for alcohol, and that the rapper got so wasted after Murray gave him a shot and a half of tequila that GZA didn’t make it to his second performance at midnight. You might become emboldened to ask another direct question, something silly along the lines of, “I heard that you only served tequila, even when people asked for whiskey!” And without answering, Murray will stand up and excuse himself, never to return. The table will grow silent and you will nervously titter to your tablemate (Karen Duffy — Duff from MTV), that you’re worried you just scared Murray off by being too nosy, and she will laugh and say, “Yeah, you probably did.”
Fuck I love Bill Murray.
Yeah. “I heard that you only served tequila, even when people asked for whiskey!” Fuck Yeah.
If I call you hot then I’d probably have sex with you given the chance. If I call you cute, you’re either A.) too young. B.) Kinda chubby but still good looking or C.) Not attractive and I’m just trying to make you feel better. If I call you beautiful, you should feel pretty damn special. Because I probably love you.
that's definitely mikey and niko, but who the hell is ali and katherine mercado? whoever they are, they're not in that picture. haha
My bad he went to marist freshmen year he looks like the guy in the blue shirt & katherine looks just like the chick next to mikey, junior when we were seniors. Why did I think you were there all 4 years? eh 2 out of 4, close enough
If a disaster hits, you will be the last to starve
(Touching your face too much can cause acne) If you’re fat enough, your arms won’t reach your face
You are your own floatation device
The fascinating world of bras is now open to you to explore and find where you belong
You can say your kicks are the most expensive out of all of your friends. (Seeing as they did have to be custom made.)
Do you have ithyphallophobia? (fear of penises) Well lucky you, you don’t ever have to see your penis again.
Girls love fat guys. I hear they think they’re “big” all over.
If you don’t have that much luck with women don’t worry. When you’re in the friend zone you’ll have the pleasure of being able to sleep in the same bed as her and have her use your man boobs as feathery plush pillows.
I just finished eating an entire box of cheez-its & a pack of oreos (bad combo trust me) when I looked in the mirror. After wiping the cheesy crumbs from my chin, I came to a conclusion. I must have a disease or something. For the last four years I’ve been eating straight junk food (not counting when other people cook for me) and I’ve never gone above 145 or below 135. Last week I ate nothing but cinnamon toast crunch for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, brunch, you name it & I still have a six-pack. At first I thought it was because I was vegetarian but I eat more junk than anybody I know. Plus, I don’t do anything but go to school (my furthest class is two blocks away) & go to work (bus stop right outside my apartment). I’m going to eat 8 meals a day for the next week. if i’m not 150+ pounds by next wednesday I’m going to the hospital.
This was not me. I was looking thru the eyes of someone else.
he seemed insane I think there was a zombie invasion and he was losing his mind i remember him telling his wife that he was gonna come back and kill her and the kids i guess so they wont suffer she was crying hysterically and my guy had a blank look on his face went outside it was dark except for a few street lights i was running away and some guy i rescued was trying to stop me i was gonna shoot him but i stopped we sat down and drunk liquor while he was explaining science stuff to me when this gang i guess came around the corner they didn’t have guns but they all didn’t have faces it was just there skulls then when i got closer i realized that they were just white people they said something and i started to run towards one of them to hit them with my shotgun when five of then jumped me and tried to pry it from my hands i held my own and stood my ground long enough to get them frustrated they said something like “oh you want us to bring out the boss” or something like that. then everyone got scared and they parted the way this white spinning thing came towards me and then i woke up.
If you are ever in a airplane and the pilot dies: 1. Take the controls 2. If engine(s) are running set them to full power (probably the big black level in the middle console) if they are not running just skip to step 3. 3. Push the foot peddle on the left as hard as you can. 4. Turn the control yoke (steering wheel) all the way to the right. 5. Pull control yoke all the way back. 6. Hold the controls in this position until the auto pilot engages and brings you to a safe landing.