Take Nothing

soldoutaffair:

andrewperon:

i believe it more to be like this:

Men are like rubber. Relatively weak, but they bend. they form and they shape and they fit the mold, and very rarely do they snap or break.

Women are like glass. Extremely strong, extremely long-lasting, but when they break, they shatter. And you can never fix broken glass.

(via iammarsz)

Oh yeah? Well I’m a Guy and I say I’m rubber & you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. 

I think this whole sex thing is all in our head. Men are no better than women & Women are no better than men. It all depends on who YOU are. If you’re easily broken that’s just you, doesn’t matter who you are, you’re weak (emotionally at least). And if you’re strong, then that’s who you are. Doesn’t matter if you have a vag or not. (Though women might be a bit stronger seeing as how they bleed for weeks and don’t die, but thats witchcraft and I don’t have time to get into that right now)

nothingrelevant:

jennysaysfu:

dylanaaaa:

I think I’m honest enough to say so. I’m a horrible person.

anabellaa:

givesmehope:

Today, I was watching the news when I heard a sad but beautiful story.

A tornado had went through a mobile home where a mom and her three kids lived. They found the mother over a mattress where her three boys were put under for safety.

The mother died to save her kids.

Mothers who are selfless in the last moment of their lives GMH.

»mobile home

I wonder why they didn’t move out of the way.. 
Regardless, poor lady.  

mjoyy:

xsimplydorkyx:

ceedcruz:

(via katebabesz)

well i’m  a guy.

If I call you hot then I’d probably have sex with you given the chance. 
If I call you cute, you’re either A.) too young. B.) Kinda chubby but still good looking or C.) Not attractive and I’m just trying to make you feel better.  
If I call you beautiful, you should feel pretty damn special. Because I probably love you. 

(via watchmelfly)

This place is fucked up. Seriously. 
If American women weren’t so damn beautiful I would be out of here tonight.

Can’t tell if it’s AM or PM. 

“Benefits of bring fat”
oh great now i’m retarded too.
If you’re skinny and stupid please stop being useless.

It goes like this:
Skinny people = Brainz
Muscular people = Brawnz
Fat people = Have Hot Whale Sex 

Know Your Role & Shut Your Mouth
 
FACT: I have never once seen a fat professor.
Elementary teacher sure, even high school. But never a professor. 

1. No one will to sit by you on the bus 
2. If a disaster hits, you will be the last to starve 
3. (Touching your face too much can cause acne) If you’re fat enough, your arms won’t reach your face
4. You are your own floatation device
5. The fascinating world of bras is now open to you to explore and find where you belong
6. You can say your kicks are the most expensive out of all of your friends. (Seeing as they did have to be custom made.)
7. Do you have ithyphallophobia? (fear of penises) Well lucky you, you don’t ever have to see your penis again.
8. Girls love fat guys. I hear they think they’re “big” all over.
9. If you don’t have that much luck with women don’t worry. When you’re in the friend zone you’ll have the pleasure of being able to sleep in the same bed as her and have her use your man boobs as feathery plush pillows.
10. Dat Ass. 
    

Oh how I wish I were chubby. :(

I just finished eating an entire box of cheez-its & a pack of oreos (bad combo trust me) when I looked in the mirror. After wiping the cheesy crumbs from my chin, I came to a conclusion. I must have a disease or something. For the last four years I’ve been eating straight junk food (not counting when other people cook for me) and I’ve never gone above 145 or below 135. Last week I ate nothing but cinnamon toast crunch for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, brunch, you name it & I still have a six-pack. At first I thought it was because I was vegetarian but I eat more junk than anybody I know. Plus, I don’t do anything but go to school (my furthest class is two blocks away) & go to work (bus stop right outside my apartment). I’m going to eat 8 meals a day for the next week. if i’m not 150+ pounds by next wednesday I’m going to the hospital. 

This was not me. I was looking thru the eyes of someone else.

he seemed insane I think there was a zombie invasion and he was losing his mind i remember him telling his wife that he  was gonna come back and kill her and the kids i guess so they wont suffer she was crying hysterically and my guy had a blank look on his face went outside it was dark except for a few street lights i was running away and some guy i rescued was trying to stop me i was gonna shoot him but i stopped we sat down and drunk liquor while he was explaining science stuff to me when this gang i guess came around the corner they didn’t have guns but they all didn’t have faces it was just there skulls then when i got closer i realized that they were just white people they said something and i started to run towards one of them to hit them with my shotgun when five of then jumped me and tried to pry it from my hands i held my own and stood my ground long enough to get them frustrated they said something like “oh you want us to bring out the boss” or something like that. then everyone got scared and they parted the way this white spinning thing came towards me and then i woke up.

nothingrelevant:

I put sunglasses on my dick and take pictures of it. Sometimes I’ll nestle a cig betwixt the dick and the balls so it’ll look cooler, cause you know, its smoking. Am I the only one who does this?

And this is why I recommended him for tumblr tuesday. 
You are not alone good sir. Not alone indeed.

When I was in kindergarten i got in trouble for sticking a pencil inside this girls vagina.
(don’t worry it was the eraser end.)
(and it was consensual.) 

All they do is block the sunrise.

krizkotv:

I have a cbox “chatbox” on my tumblr ehehe and people are raging i dont get it

Krizko haters?

If you are ever in a airplane and the pilot dies:
1. Take the controls
2. If engine(s) are running set them to full power (probably the big black level in the middle console) if they are not running just skip to step 3.
3. Push the foot peddle on the left as hard as you can.
4. Turn the control yoke (steering wheel) all the way to the right.
5. Pull control yoke all the way back.
6. Hold the controls in this position until the auto pilot engages and brings you to a safe landing.

shesafckinteeze:

sexcyanip13:

asdfghjkristine:

365thoughts:

*

First I’m like :D then :| then i’m all like l:[
It’s like looking at concept cars.
It’ll never happen, & even if it did I wouldn’t be able to afford it.