whoever wrote this, i love you!
doing all of that will make you the most unoriginal, unimaginative dick rider ever. Try this:
Fuck dick riders. Fuck abnormality. Get original. Get money. Do you. Get a life. Love ‘till you pass out. Have ideas. Love with your head. Play an actual instrument loud. Live YOUR fucking life. Fuck what people expect you to do. Do what makes you happy. BE DIFFERENT.
or be the same. fuck do I care?
apparently girls can have nipple hair
I’m surrounded by creepers.
And i hate that people feel they need to look like what society thinks is beautiful it makes me sad.
Here I am at forever 21 with this girl dragging me around asking me if I think she looks nice in this or that. What she doesn’t know is that she could be dressed up in raggedy, stained, hobo clothes and I’ll still think she looks beautiful.
I’m a young one stuck in the thoughts of an old one’s head. When all the others were just stirring awake, I’m trying to trick myself to fall asleep again.
Having to wear uniforms during the most essential times of my development as an individual, I learned to not rely on my appearance to stand out. That’s why I don’t understand why so many people retaliate when their style is repressed.
I think they’re repressing themselves by allowing their clothing, instead of their personalities, to define who they are.
quite possibly the greatest advice I’ve ever received.
If any of you read my
regarding one night stand games
this is the final one…for now
If you haven’t read them I’m
going to be a total fag and plug them
here. Read them and go
out into the world
and use them!
Or come up with your own
and submit them to me,
I’d love to hear what sick,
you guys come up with.
This game is called (obviously) Mortal Kombat. You’re going to need a partner on the inside for this one, so make sure you plan accordingly.
You should be doing the deed somewhere that your friend can be nearby, your apartment(if you’re not a fucking bum, that is) is perfect. Just make sure that your partner’s presence is relatively unknown, this is integral to what is about to happen.
When you finally get to the point where you’re about to cum, at the top of your lungs scream, “MORTAL KOMBAT!” at which point your friend bursts through the door and yells, “FINISH HER!” in his best Mortal Kombat-esque voice as your let loose on/around her. That part is really up to you, but you can really mix it up and make it your own. Think of Reptile when he takes off his mask and spits acid, only with your penis. Or if she tries to get up or run you can grab her and be like, “GET OVER HERE!” ala Scorpion. The choice is yours really.
Also, if you’re uncomfortable with your friend watching you spooge on some random girl you’ll probably never see again, you can have him yell it from the other room, but c’mon, how fun does that sound?
If you’re truly lucky there will be more than one person in the vicinity that will have the cognitive capacity to realize the tidal wave of awesome on the horizon and will have said cognitive capacity to ride the fucker and join in with a “FINISH HER” of their own.
If all goes well she will be thoroughly confused/pissed and will hate you forever, but hey it was worth it, right?!
someone people will dream about.
I quite frankly don’t give a damn about how many notes I get on a post. I don’t need 1,000+ notes on a post that was a little joke I made. The only post that matter to me are the ones I spill my heart into. Those few people who choose to read it, I’m so grateful. It really means a lot knowing someone cares and it matters to someone. So, when you see my post, remember it’s meaning over popularity <3
that prefer your ladies
and your morning-afters
good and awkward, I’m going to
present a series of posts to you
that I like to call one night stand games.
It’s kinda like the Olympics, but less boring and you don’t have
to sit through hours of lame shit like the pommel horse.
Here’s the first one:
The Rodeo -
First and foremost, make sure you’re having doggystyle secks with the largest chick you can get your hands on(that’s the easy part). Then, when you’re getting into it, whisper in her ear, “You’re fattest bitch I’ve ever fucked.” Hold on if you can!
If you manage 8 seconds, you sir are a champion!
“oh, you’re with him? Hope you like sloppy seconds.”
” I never get mad when i see my ex with someone else, my mom always told me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.”
“Oh, I like your new girlfriend, what breed is she?”
WARNING: When saying these things/Liking them on facebook, all it does it make you guys look like sour-apple-bitter-bitches.
I’ll help when you need it.
I’ll help when you ask for it.
Ill leave you alone if you ask.
I’ll try to keep you on the right path.
I’ll stand up for you when you back down.
I’ll catch you when you fall.
I’ll help you up when your down.
I’ll answer when you call.
I’ll support you in the choice you do make.
I’ll give you a hug if you need it.
I’ll be you shoulder to cry on when you need one.
I will be there for you when you need me , no matter what.
my head is killing me and these painkillers aren’t doing shit right now.
I know you miss her, miss the friendships, blablah memories or whathaveyous. I hate to break it to ya, but she don’t give a damn about you! Ouch.
I’ve had it.
I don’t wanna write dumb shit in your ask box, so stop reblogging that. Tuesday’s on tumblr is for tittays— not pussy ass questions.
If you want to be original or different, you’re better off not getting any piercings or tattoos. Everyone is doing that.
You know, when someone unfollows everyone they follow and then follows everyone that follows them. Some of my favorite blogs that I’ve been following for months still don’t follow me or have just started. Should I care? No. You don’t follow people for follow backs. You follow them because you like what they post. Why sit there and tolerate someones posts if you don’t like what they’re saying? That’s sort of masochistic. If you’re following me because you’re afraid if you unfollow me that I’ll unfollow you, please go. If I like your blog I’m never unfollowing you. If you unfollow me, no harm done. I just see it as I need to do better. Losing a follower is not the end of the world.
i guess you could say im “living” the “life”
“of a man” who uses too “many” quotation marks